*if ((royal_looks = "default") and (player_interested_in = "men"))
    *goto_scene defaultmensarcastic
    

*if ((royal_looks = "default") and (player_interested_in = "women"))
    *goto_scene defaultwomansarcastic

*if ((royal_looks = "default") and (player_interested_in = "non-binary individuals"))
    *goto_scene defaultnonbinarysarcastic
You didn’t know if it was possible for somebody to have so much sarcasm in one body, but the $!{oldroyal_title} handled it well. $!{oldroyal_title} $!{oldroyal_first_name} was so sarcastic, you wondered if ${oldroyal_he_she_they} were ever serious about anything. 

Though it's a bit annoying at times, you have to admit that it's pretty entertaining to watch most people squirm and struggle to respond to it.

“I'm sure it's a good afternoon for somebody, just not me," $!{oldroyal_title} $!{oldroyal_first_name} said, about to add to ${oldroyal_his_her_their} statement when Queen Ramona laces her fingers through both her eldest child's and her husbands. flashing a smile to the camera.

“It’s a great afternoon for all people of Odessa and a select few people apart of Odessa Dates, actually,” Queen Ramona said. “That’s what this announcement is all about, after all.”

King Frederick briefly glances down his fingers intertwined with his wife’s before he began speaking again. 

“Right. Odessa Dates is a real dating site for the Odessa people, true and true. But it also served as a host to finding a group of people for something we are calling: The Odessa Dating Games.”

Princess Mozelle speaks next, her arms behind her back. She rocked a bit back and forth on her heels as she spoke. “It’s a competition of sorts. The most compatible accounts with my ${sibling_title} will be invited to compete in Dia for ${oldroyal_his_her_their} hand.”

“So, while everybody else gets their happy endings in private, mine will be broadcast all across the country. Hooray," $!{oldroyal_title} $!{oldroyal_first_name} says, ${oldroyal_his_her_their} lack of enthusiasm oozing through your computer screen.

“More questions will be answered in a follow up press conference,” King Frederick said, pointedly ignoring his eldest child. “Godspeed and God bless Odessa.”

Before anybody else could say another word, the feed ends.

*page_break
*goto_scene chapter1_fallout